The Penitent Pirates

On Saturday, the 19th, we did things a little differently than we’re used to. It’s always interesting, to say the least, when you are breaking out of your comfort zone. You never know how others are going to react, or how you will handle yourself in the new circumstances. But God is gracious, and even when you are weak, and feel like a fish out of water, He is in control.

Dave, Mike, Jay and I all piled into Dave’s car to make a 2 and a half hour drive down to Portland, OR. Of course, with us, nothing ever takes the amount of time that Google Maps says it should, especially since we had to stop for supplies at Wal*Mart, and coffee at Starbucks on the way.

Before I go any further, though, you should know that three of the four of us were dressed up in pirate costumes. I hope to have pictures of it on the site soon, but use your imagination for now. Dave, Mike and I were as authentic of pirates as we could be, given that we threw our costumes together in the last few weeks before the event. Portland was having a Pirate Festival, in honor of ‘National Talk Like a Pirate Day’. We thought it would be a creative opportunity to reach people with the gospel, so we devised a plan to fill a treasure chest with tracts, (gospel coins and million dollar bills) and fake jewels, etc., and tote it around the festival, offering free pirate plunder to anyone who was willing to take it.

One obstacle stood in the way… Jay wasn’t wearing a costume. That meant we could designate him as camera man, leaving the rest of us to literally ‘carry the weight’, or we could surprise him with a costume for him to put on so he could join in. Of course, we opted for the second. Dave brought a large graduation robe from home, so all we needed to do was grab some red fabric from Wal*Mart on the way, and he would be sufficiently transformed into his new role as a purse-pinching scallywag.

We found something delightful about wearing the costumes within the department store, and the Safeway/Starbucks; everyone we offered a tract to took it, almost without exception. Additionally, none of the employees asked us to leave the premises while distributing them. Instead, they were begging us for one as well!

When we parked the car at the event, people were immediately intrigued by the treasure chest. A pair of young men kicked off the persecution, however. They insisted that it was hypocritical to distribute a gospel tract while dressing up as someone who rapes, murders and pillages. He went on to say that it was a false image, and he was pretty sure that the Bible says something about false images. Given that we were already feeling rather foolish, as though we were making light of the gospel, (as opposed to our normative method is to soberly preach the Word from a street corner) the criticism stung. Yet, the message of the gospel was not changed in the slightest. We were simply becoming all things to all men, so that by all means we might save some, and I am certain that not a single person at the event thought we had raped, murdered or pillaged. So, we recognized the demonic attack for what it was, and moved on.

The treasure chest full of tracts was soon a huge hit. We began calling ourselves the ‘Penitent Pirates’ “Giving back to society, since we’ve repented and reformed our ways.” This was met with a chuckle, and one individual asked us if we had ever heard the story of Black Bart, a ‘Christian’ Pirate, who would steal from all the rich merchant ships, then donate the spoils to the church. I had never heard of him, but something doesn’t sit right about justifying theft and murder by donating to the church.

By now, the overcast (and at times rainy) skies had cleared up, and the combination of our layered costumes and lugging around a treasure chest, (even if it was much lighter than when we began) drove us to take a lunch break. Once again, the costumes proved to be the perfect ice-breakers, and everyone at the little burger-joint took tracts gladly. After some prayer, and good fellowship, we headed back into the throng of scurvy-dogs, to pass out what tracts we had left.

This time around, we left the treasure chest behind. The four of us spread out to cover as much ground as possible. As I wandered around, offering gospel-coin/plunder to anyone who would take it (and without fail, they did) I noticed that Dave and Mike had engaged someone at one of the booths in a one-to-one. The man seemed rather irate, and I later learned that he was criticizing the tracts as ‘trickery’. He insisted that it was wrong to try and get people to take a tract, thinking that it is real money, only to be disappointed. Of course, as Mike pointed out, even a four year old can tell that the million dollar bills are not real money. Mike probed farther, and sure enough, the man’s real beef was with the message itself, because he thought he was a good person. He felt insulted by the idea that he needed to repent, and proved it by ripping up the tract. Eventually he stormed away, fuming, and called security on us.

Dave and Mike noticed a pair of security guards eyeing them intently, so they hunted me down, told me to get as many tracts passed out as I could on my way to the gate, because we were probably about to be kicked out. Considering that we were all nearly out of tracts, it didn’t bother us. We headed toward the exit, security following not far behind, and we all ran out of tracts before we got there. We stopped near the stage, noticing that Jay was still busy passing out his tracts near the gate, and not wanting to draw the attention of security to him as well.

Sure enough, in just a few moments the pair of security guards walked up to us, and respectfully asked us not to pass out literature within the festival gates. You can usually tell when security guards are acting out of an arrogant power-trip. This one was not. He was simply doing his job, and he confirmed that he’d received a complaint. We weren’t bothered by it, and told him that we were done anyway, because we’d just passed out the last of our tracts. In fact, we would have left immediately, but Jay was in the middle of an intense one-to-one encounter just outside the gate. We let him have some time, and eventually moved to a park bench near the ticket booth where a Pirate was sitting on the opposite end. Without any tracts left, Dave and Mike decided to be a living gospel tract, and started conversing about sin, righteousness, judgment, hell, repentance, Christ, justification and faith. I watched the man at the other end of the table, and it was clear that he was listening intently to what Dave and Mike were saying, but he never did decide to join in on the conversation, as much as he looked like he wanted to.

Eventually, Jay finished with his witnessing and we headed home, grateful to God for His goodness in allowing us to pass out all our tracts before security came to stop us, and for the receptivity that people had to the tracts. With so many people receiving the message of Christ, I can only hope that He will work in their hearts to bring them to genuine repentance and faith in the only Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.